The psychology of the mind teaches us that we actually do become what we think. The thoughts can be of what we believe about ourselves, what we believe others think about us, what we have been told by others, and such. There is both positive thinking and negative thinking.
Our thoughts, then, have a large impact on our self-esteem and self-image. When we have more positive thoughts, we tend to create for ourselves a healthier lifestyle. We eat healthier meals, get the proper amount of sleep, and strive to have a well-rounded work/life/family balance. When we have more negative thoughts, we tend to have a not-so-healthy way of living our life.
In her article, You Are What You Think, Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C, DPA, wrote, “As a therapist, I’ve tried to teach clients that their thoughts profoundly impact their moods and shifting emotions, their behavioral choices, their self-confidence, the healthy risks that do or don’t get taken, and their feelings of self-worth and self-esteem in all arenas of life.”
Although many of us have positive thoughts, it is the negative thoughts which cause us to experience such things as depression, self-loathing, bad hygiene practices, negative self-esteem and self-image, suicidal thoughts, and such. Some of these negative thoughts are self-induced due to our not taking care of our physical self (i.e. proper nutrition, good sleep habits, appropriate hygiene). Other negative thoughts are a result of our childhood experiences, whether it is something that happened to us or said to us. And, some of these negative thoughts are a result of what we say to ourselves, as well as what we allow our mind to absorb as a result of what others may say or do toward us. It is the negative thoughts which nag at us. The more we allow them to nag at us, the potential of falling ‘victim’ to them rises.
Before I go any further, I want to state that I am by no means trying to represent myself as an expert on this topic. I am simply trying to provide encouragement and motivation, as well as messages of loving yourself. I was first diagnosed with depression at the age of 22 years old. Over the past 30 years, I have experienced a roller coaster ride with depression. I have had some really awesome days, months, and years; as well as some really low days and months. Over these 30 years, I have been prescribed three or four forms of anti-depressants (and am currently taking one), worked with at least 8 counselors (three of whom were priests), fought to get out of bed, experienced suicidal thoughts, made excuses so that I could withdraw from society, felt quilt for not being a good mom at all times, said things I truly did not want to say, turned to food in order to numb my feelings, beat myself up too many times, and felt that I did not deserve the love I had from my husband, children, family, friends, and God. And this, my dear reader, is why I write, speak, and share. This is why I attempt to motivate and encourage others; as well as share messages of love (most especially God’s love for us).
Now that I have that out of the way; and you know that I do have some experience in living with this negativity, let’s keep going. So, what can we do when we discover that we have ‘fallen victim’ to our negative thoughts?
First, it is important to acknowledge ourselves. It isn’t easy to admit that we have these thoughts. Then, we can do the self-help things: pray, read scripture and positive books, attend church services, meditate, begin making healthy life choices, look at other ways we can make positive changes, journal, and reach out to family or friends for support. As a Christian, we are also to turn to the Holy Trinity. If we truly believe that Jesus Christ died for our sake, then we should know that we are to turn to him for all of our needs. There are several scripture passages with which we can meditate. For starters, take time to read: Proverbs 23, Philippians 4, and 2 Corinthians 10. Many of us will discover that we are able to turn our thinking around without going any further than ourselves and our faith.
However, once we have done the self-help steps, we may need to consider speaking with our primary physician, a counselor, and/or our priest/minister. In speaking to others, keep in mind that there are different thoughts about what causes us to have these negative thoughts and/or depression. When speaking to those whom are in the medical field, they may suggest anti-depressants. They may also provide a treatment using Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) or psychodynamic therapy, for example. From my own experience, my most recent counselor used CBT, and I experienced positive results from it. I have been provided other types of therapy, but nothing has compared to CBT. Again, that is my own experience; and you may have a different experience.
Now that I have experienced CBT, I have been able to focus more on what I am thinking. What am I saying to myself? I admit that I have some extremely negative internal conversations. When I speak of this to those who personally know me, I generally receive a reaction of disbelief. Until I decided to start sharing my own experiences, most people in my life had no idea. I could be a poster child of ‘a positive, happy person on the outside; a self-loathing, depressed person on the inside’.
I truly am a happy person! I know that I have a good life. This is why I have struggled so much with my own depression. I have not been able to understand ‘why’. I generally cannot wrap my brain around it…. literally! And, I know that I am not alone in this.
I encourage you to stop the negative self-talk. It is simply a train getting ready to derail. We must be the conductor of this train. We must discover what works for us in changing the track. Sometimes we can do it on our own; and sometimes we need to get some assistance. All the work you put into stopping the negative thoughts is so worth it!
May God shine His light, love, mercy, grace, and peace upon you!